Japan '11

I know, it's super early to be starting a blog about going abroad a month and a half before I leave, but I'm already just so excited!

Well, maybe "excited" isn't precisely the right word.  Let's try "anxious," in both the positive and the nervous sense of it.  That sounds about right.

Let me attempt to explain why.  I know, I know, it doesn't matter how I phrase it, I'm going to sound exactly like every other girl who's about to take a big step forward in her life, and every other student about to go to a non-English speaking country for four months (damn, it's nerve-wreaking when you put it that way), but here goes.

On the positive side, we have my odd obsession with Japan.  Although it's fading now (I have mainly growing up, but also Gettysburg fratiness and all that it accompanies, to thank for that), I've gone through phases of my life when I've spent hours researching, imagining, and plain breathing certain aspects of Japanese culture.  The music, the idols, the language, the food, the customs, the complexes, the commercials - you name it.  (Even the history sometimes, though I must admit I usually find it bores me to death.)  I've just finished my fifth year of language instruction to boot.  And coming from my background, it's not every day I'll be able to hop on a plane with $1250 compensation for the flight, so this may be my only chance I'll get to actually GO to Japan.  For real.  And then there's the entire study abroad aspect that comes with my program: finding your own path through a foreign country, maturing, gaining a new-found appreciation for the world and our differences as humans, etc. etc.  All in all, sounds like a super wonderful, life-changing experience that's going to be a total blast, right?  Yep, well, it will be, and there's no way I could begin to explain how grateful I am for this chance.  But it doesn't mean that the worrywart bit I inherited from my mother isn't struggling to burst forth right now.

Superstitions are silly, but right as I was about to book my non-refundable flight tickets two weeks ago - literally JUST as I was about to begin - the power went out.  I flatly refuse to believe in bad omens and all that, but it was still pretty freaky.  And, of course, there's the earthquakes.  I don't worry about what it will be like when I go, or that my trip will be affected at all, really, but it's more about my future.  Being exposed to radiation dramatically increases my chances of contracting cancer thirty years down the road in addition to my chances of having messed up babies.  I don't want that; I really, really don't.  Unfortunately for that aspect, however, I'm not chickening out now.  I've made my choice, and I'm going.

The only last thing that bothers me about going is missing out on an entire semester at Gburg.  I finally feel like I've found my place at school.  Starting with ADPi, finding joy in my classes, actually liking my teachers for once and, of course, beginning a relationship with Jon has made Gettysburg feel like a real home.  Freshman year was hell adjusting, so that plus my time abroad only leaves five semesters.  Five of eight during which I have the opportunity to be silly, make bad and make good choices, drink and cry and learn and just BE a college kid, and two of them are already gone!  As much as I will miss out on things like bonding with the new ADPi babies, random exploring dates with Lexi or Paige, date parties, finding Natty cans in random places on Sunday morning, midnight Sheetz runs/library breaks with varying members of Sigma Chi, and everything else that I could never have time to list in a million years, I have never met one person who has regretting going abroad.  So, as I've said, I'm taking my chances and leaving my home behind, in hopes that the four months I am there will be enough time to make another home, to grow, and to learn as much as my brain can possibly handle.

I've said a lot about what's on my mind, but I promise my posts from Japan will be twenty million times more interesting and cultural, and I'll put up lots and lots of pretty pictures of what I'm doing.

Can't wait!


P.S. My finishing and kind of off topic thoughts for this post: I am ridiculously excited to go shopping and send packages of really weird/random Japanese things to everyone back at home.  I think everyone will get a kick out of them, and hopefully I'll be able to keep my presence on campus and at home even while I am away.  Look forward to it!